Jeffrey Gabbard

My Thoughts on Tulsi Gabbard

Tulsi Gabbard, seen here preparing to put her baby in a spaceship before the planet Krypton explodes, is my 4th cousin – once removed. We are both direct descendants of Henry Gabbard (1768 – 1854) and Barbara Hunsucker Gabbard. (1770 – 1848)

Most of my adult life, people have had trouble pronouncing my last name. In college and the workplace, I would always get, ‘Gaah-Baard’ or ‘Guh-Bard’? Or most fun of all ‘Gay-Bird.’

That all changed in 2015 when an obscure Congresswoman from Hawaii announced her support for Bernie Sanders. Her name? Tulsi Gabbard (pronounced Gab-erd). Tulsi was a military woman who surfed, did yoga, and somehow always seemed to have perfect lighting whenever she was on camera. With a name like ‘Gabbard,’ I knew she must be family.

After a little research, I found our common lineage and that her great-grandfather, Benjamin Harrison Gabbard Sr, left Kentucky and served in the Navy. He was stationed in American Samoa and stayed there, marrying a local girl. The rest, as they say, is history.

When she first came on the scene, a lot of us more “progressive” Gabbards were very excited to have our name out there so prominently. It’s not like we’re Kennedys or Clintons or afterall; few people know us outside of the 606 area code. As we learned more about Tulsi, we realized something wasn’t quite right. As my grandmother might have said, “She’s plum tetched in the head.”

Whether it’s her old Yoga teacher Chris Butler, ousted Syrian dictator Bashar al-Assad, Putin, or Trump, she seems to have a kink for narcissistic authoritarians and apologizing for their abuses.

And now the senate has approved her nomination for Director of National Intelligence. Lord have mercy!

I have no idea what national secrets she might give to our adversaries in her new role, but I do know that every time I see my last name on social media or hear it on TV, it feels like a slap to the face.